Thursday, April 14, 2011
stunned
I am a hairball of emotions right now. I am finally getting along well with DH, I LOVE my family. Everything's sort of perfect right now, or at least: reached it's full potential. I would definitely change my job and my house if we're talking about a perfect world but you know what I mean. We even had an impromptu date-night last night after Dom went to sleep - it was juts takeout but it was spontaneous and fun and we had a good time and relaxed. I had a couple drinks. Did I mention, it was FUN? We're not a date couple so it was kind of amazing to just hang out the two of us and enjoy each others' company. I can see why people make it a regular thing. Anyway, to get to my point, DH and I dtd maybe twice last month. No protection. Honestly, I was not trying to con him into anything, he initiated every time. And this morning I took a test. On a whim sort of. I haven't even missed AF. It must be about 9dpo. And it was positive. I'm shaking. I'm scared to tell DH, scared I won't be able to handle it, scared because yesterday I was obsessing over a burberry bag because my last bag - the one I thought would be the last one I'd ever buy - got serious water damage from a water-bottle leak. And now I need to budget more than ever. I'm scared to be pg again, I am terrified of pregnancy, and pregnancy loss of course. Scared that what we did was irresponsible even though every reason in the book pointed to: try again now! I'm scared that my life can't take another upheaval, scared to tell my parents that our family trip to hawaii is going to have to be pushed out (or brought up) a couple months. Scared scared scared. Shaky....but excited too.
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That is NOT what I was expecting when I read the title. But hey, I think it's more a good thing than a bad. a lot to get used to, but a good thing in the end. I think once you tell DH, provided that goes okay, you'll feel less scared. Good luck, and congratulations!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Congrats! I'm really happy for you. It sounds like you & DH are improving, getting better & that's wonderful. Isn't stuff that out of the NORM just...fun?! I often forget that.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I know you're probably wondering how telling DH will turn out but remember, if he freaks out, he um...helped? It's not like he said, "hey Astrid, lets use protection"
And I feel ya re: getting on a budget. I always put it off or say to myself "it's not like we're broke" BUT me spending $ on another baby outfit or another handbag {cause I love handbags}...is a bit much. So, I'm trying to purchase only 1 - 2 things a month for myself. That's it...which I'm implementing next month, lol.
Good luck! Deep breaths...and yippee!! for another kiddo :)
Hi. I'm delurking!
ReplyDeleteThis too happened to me right around my daughters 6 month birthday. There was definitely a fight and a couple of jabs of "so is it mine?" because we too had only DTD twice that month. The conversation wasn't easy, nor has this pregnancy been with a now 13 month old toddler, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Your son will always have a playmate, in five years vacations will be so much easier to do with kids of similar ages, and all of your baby gear including maternity clothes are still in style and new like condition. Baby two actually doesn't cost nearly as much as baby one. Good luck! Melissa (aka Madlittlecupcake)