Dom is the most amazing thing in the whole world. Have I mentioned that lately? He's so goood natured and funny and SUCH a reliable sleeper. Sometimes I freak out about "ruining" things with another baby. I feel really bad about even thinking that, let alone writing it "out loud" but it's just a fleeting thought usually. It's just that things have been so good lately, so easy. So pleasant. It's just like me to look for a way to add complication. Like a "surprise" pregnancy. Sometimes, especially with the cast of depression and anxiety that morning sickness + hormones can cause in the first trimester, I think maybe....just maybe....DH had a point when he said we should just have one. But then I snap out of it. There is no way I would have ever stopped trying to convince him to have another one. And I am excited about the new baby. I think aside from the hormones I'm also just afraid of what people will say. Once we are able to tell people, I'm sure some of the uncertainty and guilt will dissipate. And sometimes I think all this hesitation comes from the thought that this is too good to be true. Why should I be so lucky as to have such a perfect baby and have fallen pregnant again with the second one so quickly and easily. What did I do to deserve this?
And there are countless advantages to having them close. Like they might just be friends and it will be an easier transition for Dom. And I will be done with pregnancy forever without having to deal with that advanced maternal age headache.
Dom is growing and developing faster than I can really keep track of. He just started crawling and now all of the sudden he's pulling himself up into a standing position on the couch. He was trying to grab at some wine bottles at my parents' this weekend and I kept saying no and moving his hand away. And once he went back, put his hand on a bottle, then paused, and looked at me with this big 'ol grin on his face. When did mischievious-ness become part of his personality? How does that happen?
DH's bond with him grows stronger the more interactive he gets. My mom friends are similar, they're the type that can't wait to get the newborn stage over with and wish their kids would just come out 2 years old. But I've always felt an intense addiction to and bond with my baby, from day one. You will not hear me complaining that my 3 month old isn't interesting enough. So as fun as Dom is now, I'm sad that those early days are gone. But it seems that they may come again.
I'm feeling a little more sick than a few weeks ago. I've actually thrown up a few times now, but nothing, NOTHING like last time. Although last time I was on zofran so I didn't feel it much. This time I haven't (yet) medicated so I feel at least a little sick all the time. I find myself wondering if the tamer morning sickness has anything to do with the gender. I'm sure not, that's silly. DH is convinced it's a girl. We were all convinced of that last time. This time I think he's right though, just because of the timing. Although the heartrate and HCG were both lower this time. Whatever, I learned with my first pregnancy not to try to predict the gender.
The key to staving off morning sickness these days, as with most pregnancies, is staying full. But for some reason I've just been too lazy to cook and I'm pretty picky about what I eat due to the nausiousness. So I don't think I'm getting enough to eat. My first hint was when I stepped on the scale at my viability scan. I'm 10lbs less than I was at my 7 week viability scan with Dom. I have not worked out since that 7 week scan over a year ago. So pregnancy and breastfeeding have really taken their toll on my reserves. I have the unique "problem" of all my clothes not fitting after pregnancy...because they're too big.
I'm really tired. I can't get enough sleep. I've fallen asleep at work. I go to bed at 9:30 instead of 11.
But already I feel like this pregnancy is going by faster than the first. I think it's because I'm not as obsessed with it. I have a lot on my mind, I'm incredibly busy, and I'm not as paranoid. Let's hope everything stays uneventful.